>Check those CDs on the floor
Deciding that now is the time to play more games, you approach the floor in front of your Game Box 9000. You reach for Doom, since you’ve been playing Sims XXX all day, and the times call for some monster murdering. As soon as your fingers graze the edge of the disc, however, a bolt of electricity blasts through your ceiling and strikes the touched spot, incinerating the game, its manual, and nearby carpet fibers. The shock throws you off guard and you flee with a mighty leap to the other side of the room.
>embrace dakimakura, “Claim the girl with the eponymous handle.”
Filled with a sudden mad hug-lust, you throw yourself with wild abandon at your pillow lady friend and hold tightly. Despite the fact that cotton-based life forms are not known for being sentient, you can tell that she appreciates the attention. Your love hug proceeds, and a static charge builds up, producing discomfort in your hair and clothes.
But of course! You too, have been claimed by a patron, and this one is that of electricity. You become acutely aware of all moving electrical charge, especially those in your own body. Odd and disturbing as this sensation is, you end your glorious embrace to find…
…a set of golden cat ears on your bed. How cute! Not questioning for a moment where they came from, you grab them and plop them on your head.
Your hair frizzes up all around and your clothes float about, refusing to cling to your body. A tiny spark bites your finger as you attach the cat ears to your cranium.
>Be another person
You are now Wo Cheng, the eponymous kawaiikawaiipls from Rick’s IRC channel. You are also eighteen. You share an interest with him in internet jokes, as well as cute things, Japanese popular culture, and video games. The day is still April 20th, but you aren’t ‘down’ with the same crowd as Rick, and don’t have plans for today. You are pretty excited about your new triple x rated sim game. The cable went out earlier today, so you’ve spent most of the afternoon playing it. The static fuzz sound emanating from your television fills the otherwise soundless void in your room, and a grin creeps across your face. Staring deeply into the greyish haze of the tv, you plot your next move…
>Open IRC Channel and chat with KYM users about the New Badass Game trending but its underground enough for you to like ironically
You stuff the Morp magazine back under your bed and turn to the Crapple Jacbook, which already has a number of ironic and cool tabs open about internet jokes and games. You swap tabs over to your exclusive and awesome IRC chat room. At that moment, who should appear but your best bud, who goes by the handle kawaiikawaiipls.
== kawaiikawaiipls has joined #harmonyharmony
dathit420: yo did you get that trip x sims game i sent you
kawaiikawaiipls: and it’s sooo much fun
kawaiikawaiipls: it’s my new fav~
dathit420: thought you’d like it ;)
dathit420: i’m trippin out over here
dathit420: blue gemstones appearing outta nowhere man
dathit420: i gotta go
dathit420: cya later sweet thang ;)
== dathit420 has left #harmonyharmony
>Look at some morp magazines.
Illicit magazines are littered on the floor under your bed, just barely out of sight. You decide to grab one and examine the cover.
Dem hawt lady parts. This is your favorite Morp. You feel that they might have gone downhill since this edition. Now might not be the best time to study anatomy, however, as more important things are transpiring. Such as, for instance, apparating blue amulets.
>”I claim the element of Water with my hero being Rick.”
You feel a tingling sensation, and are strangely aware of the fact that your body weight is mostly composed of water. In fact, it seems almost as if the very water vapors in the air around you are speaking your name. You have inherited the responsibilities of a champion! Cyber6x, the patron of Water, has gifted you powers beyond the scope of normal human capabilities. Although, you aren’t quite certain what that means yet. Or even that it happened. In fact, you are fairly certain right now that you might have smoked something without realizing.
A neat looking amulet appears suddenly on your bed. You aren’t sure whether to doubt your sanity or assume that you lost track of how high you were. Either way, this necklace needs to be worn, and you can’t resist putting it around your neck.
This new bling is totally cramping your cool hipster internet style, but for some reason it just feels right.
>Jump out window
You decide, rather erratically, to contemplate leaping from the window. Jumping from a third floor window is not your idea of a fun time. You could break something. You decide not to, and step back from the window, shaking the thought from your head.
First we visit the mind of a young human, our first of many…
Your name is Rick Foster. You are an eighteen year old hipster with an interest in internet culture and online games. Today is April 20th, a special day to any delinquent your age, and you have purchased a poster and ‘supplies’ to commemorate the occasion. Your Crapple Jacbook laptop sits open on your bed, begging for your attention. Your ‘yolo pipe’ is also beckoning, along with a number of other inanimate objects you could interact with. Not knowing which route to choose, you stand around smiling like a doofus.
What dost thou do?